(“My parents gave me provisions and sent me forth from our home in the east." ... "And they took off my bright robe of glory, which they had made for me out of love, and took away my purple toga, which was woven to fit my stature."-The Hymn of the Pearl)

Pearl

Before light and darkness and forms and shapes
Before reason and purpose
Before pleasure and pain and direction and time
A voice was heard above all... Below all...

And so, one single soul... then one more...
Then many
Set out on a journey, with a task:
To seek out the light that splinters the darkness
To search for the secret.
The sacred.
The Pearl.

Copyright: dp, 2000

These lyrics are samples from depresleys’ next project. The work title (“The Pearl”) is taken from the Pearl Hymn found in the Gnostic gospel of Thomas.

The theme of the Pearl Hymn is that of a person's journey through life. It tells of a young prince who is sent out on a long, dangerous journey down to Egypt. His parents, the “Mistress of the East” and her husband the “Royal One of Royal Ones,” lay on him the task of finding and retrieving the "One Pearl", which is guarded by a giant snake.

While in Egypt, the young man forgets his task as he adopts the habits of the Egyptians. He eats their food, dresses and acts like they do, and soon he forgets who he really is.

Seeing this, his parents send a messenger to remind him of his royal background, and what is expected of him. Touched by their love, he finds the Pearl, and heads eastwards. Arriving at his parent’s house, he is again dressed in the royal robes, which he used to wear all those years ago. Now, he is once again a prince, only he is wiser, more experienced, and endowed with a perfect knowledge of himself, and his own capacities.

I realize that this hymn is being interpreted differently by different people, and that several schools of philosophy/religion claim a stake in it. But since nobody really knows it's origin (other than where it was found), we use it as a basis to tell a story that could relate to any of us as we try to deal with daily life. We all face hopes, dreams, tragedies, and victories. "Egypt" in our version has become Los Angeles, though it could've been just anywhere. "Egyptian food" and way of life might as well be drugs and gang bandanas... The messenger/bird could be a person who, maybe "out of nowhere," shows up in one's life, setting things straight simply by being there. The symbols might be different, but the true and deeper meaning remains the same.

("They made a covenant with me and wrote in my heart so I would not forget: "When you go down into Egypt and bring back the One Pearl which lies in the middle of the sea and is guarded by the snorting serpent, you will again put on your robe of glory and your toga over it, and with your brother, our next in rank, you will be heir in our kingdom" -The Hymn of the Pearl)

By Day... By Night... (Part 1)

The road ahead is steep and narrow
Still I will have to go
By day, the sun lights up my way
By night... the shadows grow

To the North you cannot turn - a howling wind's awaiting...
To the South - you will get burned. Death waits beneath the raging sun...
Neither shall your trail lead East -
You'd be right back where you started from...

“E tenebris lux” - in English: “from darkness to light”, or “through the darkness”. This motto is the core of The Pearl story: enlightenment. Not just philosophical understanding or religious beliefs. True understanding comes by applying one's ideas in real life, gaining experience. And, as we all know (or eventually will learn), experience often comes with pain. In order to be able to show empathy, we must know how it feels to suffer.

This lyric represents the beginning of the journey. As the new day dawns, the main character opens his eyes and realizes that there is no turning back...

("I left the east and went down with my two royal envoys, since the way was dangerous and harsh and I was very young to walk alone." -The Hymn of the Pearl)

E Tenebris... Lux

Dawn...
All things created are about to claim form
Shapes appear before my eyes,
Cosmos from Chaos . . .
The calm after the storm

And here I am
Almost present in a twilight world
Each shadow's growing pale...
Black
Then gray, until they disappear entirely
Driven back by the force of the sun
By the light that will bring on the first day of my journey

Dawn...
Another beginning
And I know I can never again look back

("Then I put on a robe like theirs lest they suspect me as an outsider who had come to steal the pearl; lest they arouse the serpent against me. But some how they learned I was not their countryman, and they dealt with me cunningly and gave me their food to eat." -The Hymn of the Pearl)

As I've already mentioned, "Egypt" could be just anywhere. In this case we've chosen Los Angeles to be the place where the main character will face his tribulations...

Every Whisper

Welcome to the jungle
To the place of your dreams
Where every whisper
Ends up as a scream

You look'em in the eyes, you don't look away
If you wanna survive on the streets of LA!
There are games you simply gotta learn how to play. . .

Welcome to the jungle
Where the strongest survive
Where they take no prisoners
Never alive.

Take it to the limit, and then take it beyond
You've gotta think on your feet
'Cause you'll be on the run
If you wanna go blind, stare at the sun
And if you wanna have fun. . . pack a gun

Welcome to the jungle
You may walk right in
We've been waiting for you
We're about to begin

I have seen the victims. . . you don't wanna be another
If you don't plan to go all the way, then you needn't even bother
There are games you simply gotta learn how to play
If you wanna survive on the streets of LA!

Welcome to the jungle
Let me get this across
Get ready for the change
You’ll become one of us

Forget about whomever, or whatever you were
Don’t you ever look back cause you’re no longer there
If you wanna belong, you’d better learn to obey
The rules of the games we play on the streets of LA
There are games you simply gotta learn how to play. . .
If you wanna survive on the streets of LA!

As our main character settles in "Egypt", he becomes certain that the sky is the limit and that he can do no wrong. It will change...

("I forgot that I was a son of kings, and served their king. I forgot the pearl for which my parents had sent me." -The Hymn of the Pearl)

Singularity

The race against time is what attracted me
To this living in the fast lane
When all my emotions form a singularity
I'm raised high above mortal pain
I'm riding high, and I'm aiming even higher
Invincible, as the gods of the Greek

These are the ultimate emotions
A Big Bang... then the implosion
All of me form a singularity...

The race against myself... the crowd is getting thinner
I'm getting ready for the perfect thrill
If I loose, I will be gone - but I'm a winner
I've been so far, and I always will!
I'm climbing high... I will conquer every mountain
What lies below doesn't matter to me

These are the ultimate emotions
A Big Bang... then the implosion
All of me form a singularity...
I will take on Mt. Olympus
And I will come out victorious!
All of me form a singularity...

The race is on against the powers of heaven
Only immortality is good enough for me
Should I be numbered among the unforgiven
I'll take care of it myself... wait and see!
I'm riding high, and I'm aiming even higher
Invincible, as the gods of the Greek

These are the ultimate emotions
A Big Bang... then the implosion
All of me form a singularity...
I will take on Mt. Olympus
And I will come out victorious!
All of me form a singularity...

I'm a god on Mt. Olympus!
Worship me!

"Firefly" finds our guy pretty strung out, probably on drugs. Or maybe he's simply going mad because life in "Egypt" is too much for him and he can't keep up with his own lifestyle. Probably both...

Firefly

Is that a firefly, an angel, or a star?
I cannot tell... it's too far
There are dancing spots of light before my eyes
As I look up into the sky

I can look but I am not allowed to touch
I cannot mend it, though it's broken
Sometimes I reach out for it... I want it so much!
But it'll slip away...

Is that a thunderstorm, or is that your voice?
I cannot hear for all the noise
I am pretty sure there is somebody there
Or is that my heartbeat that I hear?

I was standing on the threshold of a dream
When someone told me "please, come in"
But once I got inside there was no place to hide
So I just could not help
Revealing all about myself...

Is that a firefly, and angel, or a plane?
Am I about to go insane?
Has anybody got some answers to spare?
I've got my questions right here

It's growing dark. Is that a tiny spark of light?
Am I trapped in some eternal night?
Would someone please be kind enough to lend a hand
I want it all to end!
I want it all...

Now things look rather bleak... Depression and a feeling of hopelessness sets in. But as the shadows grow darker, our man still has a vague feeling that there's a dawn coming.

Abyss

Stumbling around
In the Valley of the Shadow of the Deepest Darkness
Indifferent to everything that used to be for real
I’m seeking out the darker places
Eager to find out what they conceal

Inward…
Downward…

There is shelter in the shadows
There is pleasure in the numbness
With eyes open I seek blindness
And I’ll take poison as part of every meal

No longer my own master
No longer in control
I hope that I will make it
Thru the long, lonesome hours
Of the dark night of the soul…

Once you been through the "Valley of the Shadow of the Deepest Darkness" you are either dead, or a wiser person. You no longer can be indifferent to your own position. This is a time for reflection, and for looking for a way out of the abyss.

Ripples

Ripples on the water
The traces of what used to be
Footprints in the dust
It’s all that’s left after me

On the day I was born
Somebody died
We’re like castles of sand
Swept away by the tide

The answer to the riddle
The keys that would unlock the door
I held them for a while
Now I’m not so sure anymore

Tell me, where should I turn?
Where can I seek advice?
Should I return to the east
Where the sun rises?
To the Queen of the East
Who dwells in the sunrise…
Where can I go for advice..?

Ripples on the water
Echoes in empty halls
From afar I can hear
Distant voices that call

When I open my eyes
What will I see?
When my name is erased
Who will remember me?

When my name is erased
Who will remember me?
Please, somebody answer me!

It actually has been known to happen: Out of the blue you meet somebody, and there is an instant feeling of sympathy between the two of you. It could be "love at first sight," or it could be a feeling of "recognition," as if you just met an old and very dear friend. And, if this happens, there might be some deeper meaning and reasons behind it...

("And serving as messenger the letter was a letter sealed by the king with his right hand against the evil ones, the children of Babel and the savage demons of Sarbug. It rose up in the form of an eagle, the king of all winged fowl; it flew and alighted beside me, and became speech. At its voice and the sound of its rustling I awoke and rose from my sleep. I took it, kissed it, broke its seal and read."-The Hymn of the Pearl)

Riddles of the Past

By the way she was smiling
I would’ve recognized her in any crowd
Appearing like a raven
Her words were whispers
And the rolling of a thundercloud

She unveiled my heart
Linking past with present…

By the sound of her laughter
I could’ve sworn that I’d heard her voice before
And forever after
She’s been a part of my personal folklore

She unveiled my past
The purpose of my journey
Though it all happened fast
It’s etched into my memory…

Her eyes… deep and brown
Revealed the beauty of her soul
Her voice… the way it sounded as she spoke…
Made my only wish to be that I could follow her forever

When she barely touched my hand
Just like the tender touch of a butterfly
Then I had no more demands
I’d follow her beneath the earth… above the sky

She unveiled my past
The whole purpose of my journey
Though it all happened fast
It’s etched into my memory…

She unveiled my heart
Linking past with present…
From the very start
She was meant to be mine…
She was meant to be mine…

Our man is about to wake up, getting ready to take the leap from being an egocentric, powder-sniffing, sleepwalking zombie, to becoming a mature, though scarred, human being. The "message" is about to get through to him. But, there are still sacrifices to be made...

Sober

The strangest things are happening,
I can't explain,
I just gotta follow in the footsteps in front of me

As I wake up from the deepest sleep,
Feeling empty and hollow,
There is still a fragment of a dream alive in me

As if calling from a distant place, she appeared,
Or so it seemed to me…
She opened up my eyes and showed me what to see

Painful as it was, I saw myself - or rather images of
Shadows dancing on the wall
I couldn’t breathe at all

I know I cannot turn away from my experience
I cannot undo what I know has taken place
Within my head there is an open field...
I'm by the fence...
I will be crossing over as soon as I behold her face

There is a shadow I've been following
Or does it follow me?
I've sort of grown accustomed to it being there

Day by day... growing darker
Prohibiting me from seeing where I am, or who I am
Then she appeared!

She brought the daylight...
Lit my world at midnight
Pointed out to me the way out of this maze

Waking up... she is gone
The shadow... growing even darker
Still, in my mind, I see the image of her face

When you're in love - not just in lust, but really caring about another person - you are willing to do things you'd never thought you'd do just in order to please that person. Probably the hardest of all is opening up, showing your true self, and then be willing to permanently change for the better.

Diagnosed With Love

The truth of the moment
I’ve been diagnosed with love
There’s no cure as far as I know

Precautions and vaccines…
I took them all
So at an outbreak of love, I wouldn’t fall

The truth of the moment
I’ve been diagnosed with you
And there’s nothing anyone can do

But I won’t complain
At least for now
‘Cause I experience no pain!

I have been diagnosed, I know!
Soon my condition will show
I am not dying…
I’ve just been diagnosed with love

I’m not denying
This is the moment of truth
I have been diagnosed with you

I’m not complaining
No reason to
Just ‘cause I’m smitten with you…

I have been diagnosed, I know!
Soon my condition will show
I am not dying…
I’ve just been diagnosed with love
I’ve just been diagnosed with love

And so, the transformation has begun...

("And the words written on my heart were in the letter for me to read. I remembered that I was a son of Kings and my free soul longed for its own kind. I remembered the pearl for which I was sent down into Egypt -The Hymn of the Pearl))

The Weight

As I look in the mirror
I don't see what I used to see
Still I’m the same

And the image in the mirror
Is staring back at me
Is this some game?

I might have been walking the forbidden path
Not looking forward to the aftermath
Now the weight of the moment's coming
Crashing down on me...

I've been a stranger
I’ve been gazing up at strange skies
In oblivion

But, today I recognized part of myself
In a stranger's eyes

She came, seeking me
From beyond the light
Brought the dawn to my eternal night
And now, the weight of the moment's coming
Crushing down on me...

It is now time for the final showdown with the darker forces within. This is something all of us will have to face, I believe, if we wish to walk toward "enlightenment", or deeper insight into who we really are. If we do not stand up to this challenge, we'll remain ignorant of our potential. Like any other animal.

("...and I began to enchant the terrible and snorting serpent." -The Hymn of the Pearl)

The Enemy

I've been waiting a very long time
For this moment to arrive
It's not as if I've been looking forward to it
I hope I'll come out of it alive...

Before the eyes of the Enemy, I roll the dice
Into the arms of the Enemy... with open eyes

I've been trying to remember
'Cause it's so easy to forget
That, in order to cross over on the other side
I must turn my back to the sunset

Before the eyes of the Enemy, I roll the dice
Into the arms of the Enemy... with open eyes

I've fought the dragon in my mind... In my dreams...
And now I'm facing it for real
I know that I cannot back down, or turn around
Facing this enemy it's all about:
Kill, or get killed!

Before the eyes of the Enemy, I roll the dice
Into the arms of the Enemy... with open eyes

(" Their filthy and impure garment I stripped off leaving it in the fields, and directed my way into the light of our homeland, the east. On my way the letter that awakened me was lying on the road."-The Hymn of the Pearl)

(" I seized the pearl and turned to carry it to my Father."-The Hymn of the Pearl)

By Day... By Night... (Part 2)

Years ago, I walked this road
Much has changed since then
The child has grown...
Though scarred and beaten... I am now a man

To the North you cannot turn - a howling wind's awaiting...
To the South - you will get burned. Death waits beneath the raging sun...
Neither shall your trail lead West -
You'd be right back where you started from...

The road ahead, if I prevail,
Will take me to my home
I hope I'm recognized by those I love,
Too long I've roamed

You were sent out from the East - brought up not to falter
And even though you didn't know, you never were alone
You did well to kill the beast, and you will bring the pearl back home...