Letter to Theo

I have tried
I have tried for so long
Been cast aside;
Tell me, where I went wrong

All these years
A life all fractured and stained
Brother dear…
Canvases covered in pain

So, goodbye
Oh father, I have sought God
I can’t lie;
You were distant and cold

No more tears
Now there’s nothing
But absinthe and fear
And a lifetime of paintings
Wrapped up and stored
Who am I
To ask God for more?
I have tried…
Now I’m tired

Outside there's a night
Starry and clear
My head's full of thoughts
Of anger and fear

No more tears
But I've tried
Now there’s nothing
I have tried for so long
But absinth and fear
Been cast aside;
And a lifetime of paintings
Tell me, where I went wrong
Wrapped up and stored
I am tired
Who am I
I have tried
To ask God for more?

I am scared

So, goodbye
(To Vincent van Gogh)

© dp, 2012